My Next Book Idea…and I need YOUR advice!
“I feel helpless.”
Those words pierced my heart as I read the email. They were from a woman who recently found out that her niece’s sweet baby girl at twenty-two weeks gestation has a heart defect and will not survive. She also had miscarried in a previous pregnancy.
“Drawing on your wisdom, what should I be doing for her?
My heart is breaking for her grief now and her journey to come.”
This isn’t the first time I have been asked this question. If it is true that one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, then I would be accurate to say that every single one of us knows at least one woman who has suffered this tragedy.
And when someone close to us is walking this valley of the shadow of death, how do we respond?
What do we do?
What do we even say, or don’t say?
How can we really help?
Especially those who have never walked this grief. Many have expressed the same sentiment as this honest woman: helpless.
My fingers flew across my keyboard in response as tangible ideas, what to do, and what not to do easily came to mind. Once finished with my email, I pushed SEND, and I was immediately struck with the thought…
“I should write a mini book on this: how to walk alongside someone who has lost a baby!”
I have a few book ideas tucked away that I would love to see come to fruition someday. But this idea…I couldn’t shake it.
Her response was the encouragement and confirmation I needed to start the writing process:
“My heart is so full of gratitude for your time, effort, and wonderful ideas. Your suggestions are so kind and what not to do is so wise. It certainly gave me new and additional avenues to minister to [my niece]…
So many, many times I’ve reread your note and continue to glean from it, and absolutely become more sensitive and compassionate. You shed light on uncharted territory for me.”
This is my mission for anyone who would read this book…that she would become more sensitive and compassionate to a woman in her life who has lost a baby.
Yet there's more...
I need YOUR advice!
I have my own suggestions based on my experience of losing two babies. Yet, I also have heard from several women who felt the slicing pain of words or actions from loved ones that meant well, but only further opened the wound.
My desire is to gather insight and wisdom from as many women as possible. I would love for this book to be from the many hearts of women who have lost babies.
If that is YOU, and you have lost a baby (miscarriage, stillborn, and/or infant), I would be grateful if you could fill out the following form. You can share as much as you would like. There are no wrong answers, but share whatever you wished people in your life had known when suffering this grief.
Could you also do me a favor? If you know another woman or two in your life who have lost a baby, would you please pass on the link for them to fill out? (Copy this: www.christinavarvel.com/griever-survey)
I’m excited and hopeful for how the Lord can use this book, as we come together to teach and learn how to…
“…weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:16)
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