You do not have to fight this battle…
My hand rests on my friend’s knee as I kneel in front of her. I’m choking back tears listening to the prayers of the ladies around me. I’m afraid to chime in and pray too, because I won’t be able to stop the floodgate that’s about to unleash from my empathetic heart.
Several of us have our hands on our friend, who is walking through the devastating diagnosis of her boyfriend’s cancer. Those despised cells are destroying his body like an army invasion. At this time, I had been drafting my previous post about putting up the “magic shield” to help kill physical cancer and our sin cancer. In this moment, we were looking to the Lord, crying out to Him on behalf of our suffering friend, when we didn’t know what else to do.
There’s a pause in praying so I take the plunge. I ask the Spirit to intercede on our behalf. Our words have power, but His words hold more. I thank the Lord that He sees our pain and is weeping with us. He sits with us and understands our grief, anger, and broken hearts because it was Never. Supposed. To. Be. This. Way.
Tears are streaming now, but I don’t want to release my hand from my friend’s knee. I hold on tight to her, as I hold onto the Lord’s promises. I remind Him of who He is, El Roi — He sees my friend and her boyfriend. I remind Him that He promised to be with them and never leave them. I remind Him that He will someday, if not on earth, then in Heaven, make everything right once again.
A few weeks prior, my friend had texted me about the crushing news. I responded with a verse I use often when those close to me are suffering: “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:14, NIV) It was a verse I clung to after I lost Roi. I prayed that it will bring strength to her as it did to me.
Sure enough, some times passes and she texts me back:
“Thank you for your prayers and sending the Exodus verse. It’s been very comforting to me and filling me with hope when I am scared…
“I anointed [my boyfriend] with oil…and prayed that whole chapter over him once as is and then once again with the following word replacement:
Replace Israel with [boyfriend’s name]
Replace Pharaoh with cancer
Replace chariots with tumors
Replace horseman with cancer cells.”
Later, I sent them a Grubhub gift card, and she responded, “Thank you for diligently praying and sending our fight verse. He even nicknamed the large tumor Pharaoh and we are ready to watch him be defeated!”
My friend is desperately crying out to the Lord…and now she is waiting. Waiting for the Lord to fight for them and defeat their enemy. The physical cancer is at war in his body, and their response is like King Jehoshaphat and all of Judea in 2 Chronicles 20: going into battle by first putting up the “magic shield.”
{If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you read my previous post to fully understand the concept of the “magic shield”: www.christinavarvel.com/blog/cancer-or-sin}
Short recap: Jehoshaphat is about to go into battle and is consumed with fear. He declares a fast for the people of Judea, and he cries out to the Lord in prayer. He brings everyone’s eyes to look to God, they kneel in worship and go into the battle singing with thanksgiving.
The shield is up…then what?
The Lord heard their prayers, saw their humility in the denial of self and complete dependence on Him, and answered:
“Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast number, for the battle is not yours, but God’s…You do not have to fight this battle.
Position yourselves, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord.
He is with you…
Do not be afraid or discouraged. Tomorrow, go out to face them, for Yahweh is with you.”
(2 Chronicles 20:15-17, HCSB)
God’s instructions must be important, because this mirrors His words in Exodus 14:13 with a previous generation of Israelites: “Don’t be afraid. Stand firm and see the Lord’s salvation He will provide for you today.”
Whatever battle you are facing: Don’t be afraid, for the Lord is with you. Stand still. You don’t have to fight this battle; the Lord will do the fighting. Wait on Him.
This doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t do anything. You may still have to “go out and face them.” My friend’s boyfriend is fighting those cancer cells with chemotherapy, while you may have to fight against the cancerous sin, the toxins, and the damaging effects in your life. You may need to confess your sin and seek help from a trusted pastor or biblical counselor. Or step away from all forms of media that are influencing your mind and heart toward the philosophies of the world. Or step out of your comfort zone to be obedient to something you know God is asking you to do. Or lament to the Lord in your grief. But it’s all about positioning your heart and mind while in the correct posture:
Physical Posture: Kneel before the Lord with fasting, looking, worshipping, and thanksgiving.
Heart and Mind Position: Do not be afraid, stand still, trust that the Lord is with you, wait, and see…
…then what happens next is up to the Lord.
“And when they began to sing and praise, the Lord sent an ambush against the men of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir, who had come against Judah, so that they were routed…they all helped to destroy one another.
“When Judah came to the watchtower of the wilderness, they looked toward the horde, and behold, there were dead bodies lying on the ground; none had escaped.” (vs. 20:22-24, HCSB)
The men of Judah were in the right posture and position, and the Lord was the one to fight their battle and bring about the win.
This looks like Brett and me trying one more time for a baby after losing two sons. We prayed…we acted…we waited…and we watched TWO black sacs appear on the ultrasound.
This looks like my friend giving up control of planning her life, and after reading my book, she surrendered and let God control her family. She immediately got pregnant and loves to remind me that her son wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for my book. (OK, that’s way too much credit, but it is a pretty cool story! ;)
This looks like seven long, discouraging, defeating, and humbling years of waiting for the Lord to bring about the funds to film Disciples in the Moonlight. Now we look back and can see all the ways that the Lord had been paving a way, and why He said, “No, not yet.” All glory and credit is His alone for orchestrating the path to produce the film.
This looks like my counselee who surrendered her body, mind, and heart to the Lord. The Spirit miraculously transformed her from depression, despair, unforgiveness, and shame, to joy, hope, forgiveness, and freedom.
Insert your own battle victory that the Lord fought on your behalf. Praise be to the Lord!
Confession: I was initially hesitant about writing in my book the victory “win” of having the twins. I wanted to leave it open-ended, because not everyone has a happy ending to their story like mine. After receiving wisdom from Brett and friends, I realized that it would be cheating God on sharing what He had done! My ultimate goal is to bring Him glory; therefore, I needed to share that it was His victory and miraculous work in my physical body and my heart. We were able to sing His praises with joy, as you read in the last page of my book.
If I didn’t, it would be like reading this story of King Jehoshaphat and Judah going out to battle and not knowing the ending of the battle, whether they won or not. Many times God does bring about the victory we are desperately begging Him for. The Psalms encourage us over and over to tell others of the works of the Lord.
“…proclaim His deeds among the peoples…
“…tell all about His wonderful works!” (Psalm 105:1-2, HCSB)
Just because others around us may not have a victory story, doesn’t mean we should be ashamed of our response. Rather, we can confidently follow the example of “every man of Judah and Jerusalem, and Jehoshaphat.” They left the battle, “returning to Jerusalem with joy, for the Lord had made them rejoice over their enemies.” (vs. 27, HCSB)
Let us shout the praises of the Lord since He is the One who did the fighting, and let’s also rejoice with others in their victories since it is of Him and not of us.
But…
Yes, there is always a stinkin’ but. I can hear some of your cries through my computer. But what if there is no victory? What if you fast, look to the Lord, cry out to Him, wait on Him to fight for you…and no win. And sometimes even the worst of the worst continues to happen.
Continue reading here.
I share all the wonderful works of the Lord in my book, Living Hope: Giving Birth to Death Brought Life