My Red Carpet Moments—The ones that will last for eternity
Kherington’s Bible is open on her lap as she wipes the tears from her face. I’m sitting across from her on her bed. It’s late, and those moments I was warned about with the teenage years are starting to happen. I’m exhausted from the day, my evening coffee is ready, and Brett is downstairs waiting for me to have our brief time together before bed. And Kherington chooses now to have the deep talks.
I take a breath and remind myself that this is important, even though most nights I feel like I have nothing left to give. She shares something she is anxious about, so I have her open her Bible and read specific verses, teaching her how to go to the Lord with her worries and trust Him. We then pray together. Before I get up to leave, she’s still crying and says,
“I am so thankful that I have a mom and dad who teach me the Bible.”
I choke back my own tears and tell her that it’s our greatest joy and privilege. I give her a hug and kiss goodnight, then go downstairs to tell Brett what she said. He pauses and replies,
“That’s your red carpet moment.”
I stare inquisitively at him, and then a smile forms as I let his words sink in. Yes, my red carpet moment.
In our culture, Brett and I are on complete opposite sides of the spectrum. He is an actor and director, being nominated and winning awards, walking red carpets, noticed, and public. I’m the counterculture full-time stay-at-home-homeschool-mom, who isn’t actively pursuing some sort of career/dream/passion/calling (it has taken on many different names) in addition to being a wife and mother. I will never receive a reward on earth for how many poopy diapers I have changed or how many sibling fights I broke up. How many floors I’ve scrubbed, papers I’ve graded, meals I’ve prepared that were thrown on the ground, or tantrums I’ve battled while being screamed and kicked at…usually in the most public of places.
For the past several years I had really struggled with an internal warfare of discouragement, comparison, and envy toward others, believing the lies of the enemy that I must not be doing enough. Up against my social media feeds and even friends, I wondered if what I was doing “only” as a wife and mother were counting for something, while it seems like so many are out of their homes trying to fight good, difference-making battles in the world.
But because of the Lord’s compassionate, gracious, faithful love, He has been doing surgery on my heart, as the late Pastor Timothy Keller once described in a sermon. God has taken a scalpel to dig out those ugly tumors and conforming more of my heart to His. While I have known it to be true, I struggled to fully believe it—that what I do as a wife and mother are the most important roles God has assigned to me. He has opened my eyes to a greater understanding that much out in the world is only a distraction from the bigger, eternal war that many are not seeing, because they don’t want to see it.
Celebrities are highly regarded on the red carpet. It’s almost saying to the world, “I have arrived.” Well, I’ve walked a few red carpets. No, I’m far from being a celebrity, but the celebrities who have walked it are just as human as me. Let me tell you, at the end of the carpet you look back and think, “That was it? What’s all the fuss about?! Can I get out of these heels, please? They are killing me!” (After a movie award ceremony in Los Angeles, I legit walked barefoot for two blocks on Hollywood Boulevard. Eek!) So please don’t be fooled by the pictures. If you know me, I have no idea how to do my makeup even after following the YouTube tutorial because I don’t own half of the products or brushes.
Disciples in the Moonlight Premiere - May 2024
I’ve written previously about this truth that our culture deems success as the complete opposite of what God’s Word says is success. Christians are still missing it and buying into the enemy’s distractions and aiming for frivolous achievements. Maybe it’s not a red carpet in your world that is the “arrival” point, but in Brett’s and my world, the red carpet, the shiny gold trophies, and the box office dollars are what we are up against that puts a stamp of approval on us.
So that’s where Brett’s phrase, “your red carpet moment,” came from for me. Because what I do on a day-in, day-out basis will never be seen, glamorous, or worthy in the world's eyes. (Unless we are posting it all on social media…which then…the “like,” “comment,” and “share” buttons have become the standard stamp of approval of us all, have they not? I’ll just leave that there. Social media is an entire other topic.) But my red carpet moment with Kherington and the many before and after will always be seen by God, and are most important because they are what will last forever!
My family was recently together for dinner, and my dad commented on my brother-in-law’s grandfather’s funeral. My dad spoke highly of all the achievements that this man (who had lived over 100 years!) had accomplished, while here he was newly retired from the workforce of over forty years and didn’t seem to think he had accomplished much.
I immediately cut in and said, “No, Dad. That’s not true. I think when we get to Heaven, we are going to be shocked to see who is really rewarded and who is not. Look at us all here. Your children and your grandchildren have chosen to follow Jesus Christ. That’s the greatest, most important thing you can have by the end of your life.”
My brother-in-law’s grandfather would most likely agree that after living a long life, his biggest accomplishment was following Christ to the very end and serving his family.
I am most proud of my dad, who sacrificed to provide, nourish, care, and ensure that I was taught the Word of God. He is one of my biggest fans and supporters in my life. I am like Kherington now, with tears running down my face saying, “I am so thankful to have a dad (and you too, Mom!) like you.” He was diligent and faithful to my mom, my sister, and me.
And his two daughters and their children have chosen to obey and follow Jesus Christ.
My mom, sister, Laureann, and dad
Celebrating my parent’s 45th wedding anniversary!
Scripture says over and over...
“Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” (Deuteronomy 4:9, NIV)
“Their descendants will serve Him; the next generation will be told about the Lord. They will come and tell a people yet to be born about His righteousness—what He has done.” (Psalm 22:30-31, HCSB)
“My people, hear my instruction; listen to what I say. I will declare wise sayings; I will speak mysteries from the past—things we have heard and known and that our fathers have passed down to us. We must not hide them from their children, but must tell a future generation the praises of the Lord, His might, and the wonderful works He has performed. He established a testimony in Jacob and set up a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers to teach to their children so that a future generation—children yet to be born—might know. They were to rise and tell their children so they might put their confidence in God and not forget God’s works, but keep His commands.” (Psalm 78:1-7, HCSB)
I am overwhelmed and overflowing with gratitude that my great-grandparents followed these commands, and in turn my grandparents followed, and in turn my parents followed. Because of every one of them, I became that future generation which now has the opportunity to pass God’s Word and His wonderful works to my children. For those of us who are parents, is there any greater responsibility and reward on this earth than this?!?!
Listening to my grandpa tell childhood stories.
Brett and I may have walked a red carpet last month to celebrate the completion of a ten-year film project, Disciples in the Moonlight. It was an exciting night, giving the Lord glory and praise for how He worked through the many people to bring this film to theaters in July. Only by His grace did He orchestrate this film, and we continue to surrender the use of it to further His kingdom.
Pictures from that night were blasted and announced all over social media. People might have “oohed” and “ahhed.” It looks like we have finally “arrived.” (More like, it’s finally finished!!!) While Brett and I are awed by God’s grace and faithfulness and are privileged to be used by Him in this endeavor, it didn’t mean as much as another red carpet moment.
A month prior to that film premiere, instead of walking down a red carpet with flashing cameras, Brett and I walked across a church platform to a horse trough. We had the once-in-a-lifetime privilege and blessing of placing our hands on Kherington and Damon as they were baptized. They professed in front of their family and friends that they had accepted Jesus’ gift of salvation a few years ago, and now are publicly declaring that they have chosen to follow Jesus and His Word.
Nothing this world has to offer compares to this. No other chasing of a career/dream/passion/calling compares. At my funeral and when I stand before my Lord someday, I want all earthly achievements to fall away, and rather be able to confidently hope that I did everything I could to ensure my children knew the gospel of Jesus Christ and the Word of God.
Am I doing it perfectly? Of course not. Just ask my kids. In fact, one day when Brett came home from a film set he asked everyone, “So how did the day go?” Kherington spoke up first and responded with, “Mom had to ask us for forgiveness.” Brett smirked at me and said, “Oh yeah?” Bahaha! Leave it to the kids to really tell it like it is.
Are we guaranteed that our kids will choose to follow Jesus all their lives? No. It’s too soon to tell as I write this now because I have no idea if my children will leave my home and continue in the ways we have taught them. Some of you reading this may have a prodigal child or one who has yet to put their faith in the gospel. But I do know based on God’s commands that our and only our responsibility (not solely our pastors, student youth leaders, or school teachers) is to tell our children “the praises of the Lord, His might, and the wonderful works He has performed”—this is our accountability before the Lord.
Moms, Dads…God sees you, and what you do as parents is more important and worth it than anything else you can do on this earth. Don’t give up. Don’t give in to our culture, even if it seems harmless. There’s a war to fight! While many think the battle is “out there,” Satan has been on full attack on our homes…(more to come on that).