When There Isn’t Much to Show That’s Worth Putting on Display to Shine Bright
The choo-choo sound coming from my phone notifies me of a text message. (I’ve never changed this train sound since Kherington was a toddler; it’s too sentimental now.) The message is from my dad to our family group chat. I swipe it open to see a news link declaring that this year’s Rockefeller Christmas tree has been found.
Weird. Why would my dad care and send this article to us? I click the link to soon read that the 80-foot Norwegian spruce tree has been chosen, and its location is in the town that my parents grew up in: Vestal, New York.
My dad also informs us that the tree wasn’t only in the same town, but on the same street where my mom lived. Geeking out, he sends us a video on his computer of the satellite view on Google maps to show us my mom’s childhood street and the house where the tree came from.
Yeah…not creepy at all. Thank you, Google maps, for no privacy.
I digress.
The spruce tree is said to be about 80-85 years old. I wonder how tall it was when my mom was only a girl, riding her bike up and down the street. Actually, it was more likely my dad, as a junior high kid, riding past the tree to eagerly see my mom. To them, it was only another tree and never would they have thought it would someday be the tree that would be lit with 50,000 lights displayed in the famous Rockefeller Center in New York City.
Additionally, the person who planted that tree, over 80 years ago, never would have guessed it would be even a contender in the year 2023.
Regardless, the tree was once a seed, and throughout the years of rain, sun, and all four seasons in the state of New York, that spruce tree slowly grew. And grew and grew. It took over eight decades for the tree to finally be ready to shine bright for the country and possibly the world.
But what about the 80 years in between? No one really took notice. Spruce trees don’t need a lot of human maintenance. God created it to sustain on its own whether in abundant rain or drought, sun or shade, fierce winds or calmness. It also grows one to two feet per year, and unless you compare it from year to year, the day to day process is unnoticeable.
This particular tree was just an ordinary spruce tree doing what it was created to do.
As I reflected more on this beautiful Norwegian spruce, I thought of raising my children. Recently, when we swapped seasonal clothes, I couldn’t believe how Kherington’s pants from last year were already way too short. My girl is growing, and I can’t seem to see it from each passing day. All my children are physically growing, whether I take notice or not.
More importantly, their hearts and minds are growing. Yet to be honest, as an impatient parent, they aren’t growing fast enough. Because I want my toddler twins to start obeying me the first time, every time, with a happy heart. I just laughed out loud writing that. What is that?! Yeah, that is not happening over here.
Rather, I call Brett in desperation and exhaustion once again to interrupt his day because the twins don’t care one bit what I say or do. It seems like Groundhog Day, getting up and repeating over and over again discipline, correction, teaching, and grace, with nothing to show for it. The lure of doing something, anything to show results is in our human nature. We find meaning, purpose, and value in what we can do and what we can give, and at the end of the day being able to say, “Look! I accomplished this! So I must be worth something!” Then we start over again on the next project, job, order, or client.
Kids, (especially toddlers), aren’t like that. Because at the end of the day, most of the time, there isn’t much to show that’s worth putting on display to shine bright. Unless we count the toothpaste artwork all over the sink and the crayon drawings on my white kitchen cabinets.
And tomorrow Groundhog Day begins again.
However, if this Rockefeller Christmas tree took 80 plus years to grow to its fullest, most abundant brilliance, it might just take us that long too. And here I am living like my children need to be prepared, perfectly obedient, and at their fullest potential by the time they leave my home at eighteen. (Ahem, Lord-willing they will be leaving.)
Why would I expect this of my children when I, myself, feel like I am nowhere near ready to be presented as having it all together? And I left my home many years ago.
No, my children are Norwegian spruce trees. And so am I.
In Paul David Tripp’s book, Parenting (I’ll give you one guess what it’s about, then go get a copy), one of his principles is “Process: You must be committed as a parent to long-view parenting because change is a process and not an event.” He explains,
“The Father’s work of justification is an event, but his work of transformation is literally a life-long process. When justifying you, God is fully aware that he is committing himself to a day-by-day process of illumining, confronting, convicting, forgiving, transforming, and delivering grace.”
Likewise, this should be my perspective as I parent my children. I’m so short-sighted, when the Lord has the long-term view in mind. At the end of each day, what I really want to say is “Look, God! Look at my kids and what I did today! Do you see me? Is what I am doing working? Or is it all in vain?”
Because deep down I want the sacrifices, the tears, the not-social-media-worthy mundane, repetitive, long, hard days to mean something, anything. I’m looking to the results to show my worth and my children’s worth, and when there is nothing to show, I fall prey to discouragement, defeat, and rejection.
Praise the Father that He does not parent like me. His grace and faithful love is patient, unchanging, and unconditional. He doesn’t expect me nor my children to be transformed in one awesome, joy-filled, no fit-throwing, obedient day. Rather, He uses all seasons of life—the mountains and valleys, successes and failures, life and death, laughter and tears—to illumine, confront, convict, forgive, transform, and deliver grace. And it takes a lifetime…not only surviving the toddler or teen years.
If the Father cares so much to sustain this spruce tree, how much more will He with our hearts and our children’s? In reality, it’s not Groundhog Day. Down in the depths of my children’s souls, I believe the Father is doing His day-in, day-out work of transformation, as He also transforms me and uses me to garden their hearts and minds. It’s the persistent efforts of planting seeds, weeding, trimming, and watering—cultivating the soil for the twins to be receptive to hearing the salvation message through Jesus, and gardening the soil of the two older kids, who have professed faith in Christ, with His Word over and over to further deepen the roots and bear fruit.
With this long-term view in mind like my Heavenly Father, I can find joy and hope in the process, regardless if I see the results yet or not, and be “confident of this, that he who began a good work in [my children and me] will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6)
Another truth caught my attention regarding this Rockefeller Christmas tree. Not every spruce tree in America made its way to be displayed in New York City. In fact, according to the article that my dad sent my family, the Rockefeller head gardener was in the area of Vestal to look at a different tree. While driving on a back road, the 80-foot Norwegian drew more attention than the one he was initially seeking out.
That other tree never made it to the spotlight. It didn’t have what it takes to be the tallest, fullest tree. The gardener evaluated it by his standard of the perfect tree to be displayed, and it therefore fell short. Not so different in our culture, which screams everywhere you turn that you have finally arrived, have what it takes, and reached its man-made standard when you are seen. Gone viral. Have millions of likes, shares, views, subscribers. Won awards. Made the bestseller list. Sold the most sales. Shared the good news of Jesus with the most souls or have the largest church attendance. Achieved your dreams. Reached the status and fame of having the all-time highest-grossing music tour paying homage to all of your albums, where people are encouraged to dress up like you.
Eek. Is anyone else cringing? “Oh, Christina, it’s just fun and entertainment.” Maybe, but stop and think for a moment about the deeper meaning. This isn’t pointing fingers in self-righteousness, because no matter if we are the “tree” in the spotlight or never to be looked at, we are all the same, crying out, “Do you see me? Do I matter? Will you love all of me? Am I enough?” The albums speak for themselves…being the tree will never be enough. And that’s what breaks my heart.
Because the deeper meaning is that we make it about us. We are looking in ourselves and to others, whether that’s our children, spouse, career, appearance, talents, or morality to affirm our value and worth. We become anxious, depressed, apathetic, withdrawn, and sadly, suicidal when we don’t meet our own standards or the standards our culture and even the 21st century Church deem acceptable. While others are driven to hustle relentlessly, come hell or high water, in order to meet and then keep the standards. Because heaven forbid, trees on display can't ever fall.
Our striving also overflows onto those around us, expecting them to bow to our idolatry of “me,” while becoming impatient, bitter, and angry at them for not being what we demand them to be…right now, right away, the first time, please. Not eighty years from now, after a lifetime of spiritual transformation by the Head Gardener.
The Rockefeller head gardener showed up at the end of the Norwegian spruce tree’s life. He missed out on the day-in, day-out growth journey of the tree. Not Jesus. If He took notice of this Norwegian beauty as it grew inch-by-inch, when no one else bothered to care, how much more does He see you?
The encouraging truth is that Jesus is always on the back road searching for us. He will never overlook us. Because His standards of perfection and “making it” are found only in Him and what He has done, not our performances, achievements, self-righteousness, obedient children, and the results that we labor to bring Him and others at the end of each day. He is the Tree who will never fail, never fall, and always be enough.
We only have to look to Him, not within ourselves or to others, for our value and worth. The Father already sees us in our fullest, most brilliant form if we have put on the righteousness of Christ. We can be like the long forgotten spruce tree to everyone else that passes by, yet in His eyes, we are already in Rockefeller Center because we are dressed up to look like Him.
That Norwegian spruce that was chosen and shining bright today in New York City will be brought down and discarded in January, just like every “tree” in our culture that has “arrived” and been idolized will soon be old news, cease to be noticed, and disregarded in the generations to come. This will always be the result of our tireless striving to shine our own glory.
Ironically, the tree that was passed over and didn’t make the cut for Rockefeller Center will still be standing strong and continuing to grow in Vestal, New York. The result of those who surrender to the Head Gardener’s life-long process of growth and transformation, will never be cut off but be made fully, abundantly complete in the second coming of Jesus Christ.
Until that day, let’s rest in being ordinary spruce trees doing what we were created to do:
Illuminate Jesus’ glory to the world both now and for all eternity.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
